Nearly thirty percent of all workers in the U.S. are required to have a license to perform their jobs. Presumably, this is to ensure safety for the general public. You know, to make sure our hair is braided in a way that won’t kill us, a travel guide doesn’t give us a tour that will cause us irreparable harm, or God forbid, an unlicensed interior designer doesn’t suggest we put a chandelier made from deer antlers over the kitchen table.
I could write an entire book on this subject, showing how the vast majority of these laws are anything but helpful and in many cases harmful, but rather than do that, I’ll turn the tables on these politicians and suggest they follow their own reasoning. If you listen to the rationale provided by politicians for these laws, it’s nearly always to protect citizens from unqualified actors.
But let’s think about which profession affects all of us in some way, nearly every day. This profession affects how much money we make, how we seek health care, what products we’re allowed to consume and buy, what we can do with our property, who we can marry, how much water to flush, how much electricity we can use, what kind of fuel we use for our cars, how we educate our children, if and how we can protect ourselves and our families, and long list of other things that affect us on a daily and lifelong basis.
This profession is known as politics and its practitioners are known as politicians.
For any profession that has the ability to create harm to any individual, and in many cases does just that, shouldn’t we demand that those who seek to operate in that profession meet at least the minimum qualifications? After all, we hire them for the sole reason to pass laws. And nearly every law passed involves the loss of freedom for some of us (the exception being the likes of passing laws to name a post office).
With the ability to affect how we live our lives, it’s pretty easy to see why politicians should be certified, licensed, and approved, before they’re even allowed to put their name on a ballot. I mean, if we could just save one person from diabolical tyranny, wouldn’t it be worth it? And if those politicians claim to have the wisdom to understand why it’s not safe to braid hair without 1,500 hours of training and a blessing by an appointed board or morons, then it’s not a great leap to understand why they themselves should be subjected to certification and licensing. In fact, it seems to me we can make the case, that politician certification should be at the top of the list due to public safety. Right up there with doctors, nuclear power plant operators, and pole dancers.
Now, let’s contemplate a few things we should demand of politicians to demonstrate their expertise. I’ll make a list here, but I’m sure you can think of many more:
- High school level civics test. We could begin by making them list the three branches of government and what each of them are for.
- Two semesters of college level economics with a grade of A or B. It they’re average, it’s not good enough. This must be from an accredited college or university that has demonstrated it does not support communism, socialism, free stuff for everyone, the flat earth model of the universe, or offer any degree that ends in the word ‘Studies.’
- Demonstrate a high level of proficiency and understanding of the Bill of Rights. Having graduated from law school is not a substitute for this requirement, given that most lawyers and judges don’t already have this proficiency. Make them take a test on the Tenth Amendment by listing the enumerated powers.
- Require those seeking office to write the following 1,500 times on a chalkboard: SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED. Further require applicants to look up the definition of ‘militia’ in more than ten dictionaries (Wikipedia and urban dictionaries not allowed) , then write an essay on the concept.
- Demonstrate proficiency in history. Require applicants make notes about the number of people killed under every socialist regime ever devised. Make them add up the numbers for a total (calculators not allowed). If the number is less that 40 million, the applicant will be disqualified.
- Write a 1,000 word essay on the meaning of ‘fair’ and ‘fair share.” If any part of the essay suggests taking property from others without their permission, the applicant will be disqualified.
- Derive a mathematical proof that minimum wage laws cause unemployment to increase.
- Illustrate proof that the applicant does not now own, or never has desired to own a unicorn.
- Require a mental health examination and background check.
- Agree to implantation of a chip that will cause them to have seizures if any of the following occurs:
- they ever utter the phrase “at the end of the day.”
- point at the crowd at a political rally as if they actually spotted someone they know.
- Answer any YES/NO question with more than one word.
- Ever suggest anything that has to do with changing or contributing to this list of requirements. This particular offense will result in multiple jolts from the chip until such point unconsciousness occurs.
- Make them write “Taxation is Theft” 1,500 times on a chalkboard. If during this time, the applicant shows any sign of stress, to include crying, smirking, eye rolling, etc., the applicant will be disqualified.
This is a good starting point. Clearly, this is the only way to protect ourselves from the idiots, morons, and grifters who currently act in any legislative manner.
After all, if we could just save one life, it makes this entire process worthwhile, don’t you think?